Southeast Asia on a Shoestring

It dawned on me not long ago on one particular bus ride that a day would come when I’d have to sit down, summarize my Southeast Asian experience, and lower the curtain on this grand opening act. And at that time I recall thinking it fitting that I lift the title to this blog from the famous yellow Lonely Planet guide – Southeast Asia on a Shoestring. On a shoestring? Well not always. Sometimes a shoestring, sometimes barefoot, and sometimes a leather tuxedo lace.

I fly out of Bangkok tomorrow at 8:40am. So how do I wrap this up, put a cute little bow on the experience, and neatly tuck it away on my Shelf of Life? Well a few things come to mind.

First, Southeast Asia by category. Drum roll please…

• Worst Accommodations: Vang Vieng, Laos. Floor ants plus a near physical altercation with an unpleasant Laotian hotel staffer led to a light sleep and an early morning check out.

• Best Meal: Chedi Club (Ubud, Bali). Deep fried duck. Impeccable service. Great company. Stiff cocktails. Majestic setting. Cohibas for desert.

• Longest Day: Tie. Indonesia/Indonesia. The 15 hour bus ride of unimaginable discomfort along the Trans-Sumatran highway set a precedent I never want to surpass. But the 22 hour marathon day from Sumatra to Singapore involving two minivans, two ferries, one metro, and a taxi? The best 37 hours I never want to experience again.

• Best Sunrise: Gili Trawangian, Indonesia. Standing alone atop the island’s highest point as the sun broke Rinjani’s volcanic crater rim…unforgettable…and unsurpassed.

• Closest Straight Razor Shave: Kalaw, Myanmar. He spoke no English but held a steady blade.

• Most Uncomfortable Travel: Tomato bus from Mandalay to Hsipaw, Myanmar. “Ethan, there are tomato crates occupying the entire area where my legs should go?” Third world discomfort finds a laughable new low.

• Dodgiest Meal: Denpasar market (Bali, Indonesia). Day 3 and consume something grey and very funky. Lab tests yet to ID said meat.

• Best Sunset: Maya Beach (Phi Phi Leh, Thailand). Watching the sun sink into the Andaman Sea from The Beach. Just barely beats Seaside Heights.

• Most Impressive Natural Site: Halong Bay, Vietnam. Look it up.

• Dirtiest Currency: Tie. Myanmar/Indonesia. The small denomination notes were like handling dirty diapers.

• Best Accommodations: Metropole Hotel (Hanoi, Vietnam). I’ll be back for my 50^th birthday party if not sooner.

• Longest Stay (Linger Award): Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Not by choice. By poor planning. Seven nights. Five too many.

• Shortest Stay: Ko Phan Ngan, Thailand. Bad vibe central. Some people spend a week. I spent 13 hours.

• Least Hygienic Public Moment: Forty-five minute flight from Lombok to Bali, Indonesia. Spending 57 hours climbing an active volcano without running water can do that. I still don’t know how they let us on that plane.

• Scariest Looking Police Force: Thailand. They look like futuristic cyborgs directing traffic.

• Country Most Likely to Return to Next: Indonesia. 34 days deep and only just scratched its surface.

• Most Pleasant Surprise: Jakarta, Indonesia. Jakarta! JAKARTA!?!? Who would have thought?

• Most Impressive Manmade Site: Temples of Bagan, Myanmar. The remoteness, beauty, and lack of tourists bumped Angkor to #2.

• Favorite City: Hanoi, Vietnam. The complete package. The buzz, the chaos, the food, the service, the price. Add some oriental Xmas cheer and you’ve got a list topper.

• Best Beach: Maya Beach (Phi Phi Leh, Thailand). End of discussion.

• Best Run In with the Law: Kengtung, Myanmar. Two hours of detainment alongside Lucius Polk by immigration officers for illegally riding motorbikes was an absolute pleasure.

• Best Beer: Tiger Beer (Singapore). Beating out Bintang (Indonesia), Dragon (Myanmar), Beer Lao (Laos), Leo/Singha/Chang (Thailand), 333/Biere Le Rue (Vietnam), and Angkor (Cambodia). The judge would like to thank all participants for their involvement.

• Best Cuisine: Vietnam. Gram for gram, dish for dish, dong for dong the Vietnamese stole the show.

• Best Cuisine (Honorable Mention): Sumatra, Indonesia. The Muslims of central Sumatra know a thing or two about curing beef. The lack of utensils or chop sticks (think hands) made for an all around unforgettable dining experience.

• Most Unforgettable Room: The Rock Backpackers (Phi Phi Don, Thailand). I might as well been in county lockup.

• Furthest from Home (figuratively speaking): Day Two hiking from Kalaw to Inle Lake, Myanmar. Waking up on the floor of a village hut; the closest airstrip a two day walk in either direction.

• Favorite Country: Myanmar. No surprise.

Second, Southeast Asia by number. Tomorrow, the day I leave, will be my 138^th day on the road. And for each I can tell you where I was, what I did, and where my head rested. By the numbers…

• Nights in Indonesia: 34
• Nights in Singapore: 4
• Nights in Malaysia: 7
• Nights in Myanmar: 24
• Nights in Thailand: 27
• Nights in Laos: 10
• Nights in Vietnam: 24
• Nights in Cambodia: 7
• Number of beds/seats slept in: 66

*Do the math. An average stay of two nights per location means three things: lots of packing, unpacking, and repacking.

• Overnight bus rides: 5
• Overnight bus rides without a foreign language musical accompaniment: 1
• External hard drives shipped home: 2
• Hours of 1920 x 1080 HD film footage contained on hard drives: 57
• Overnight trains: 2
• Airlines flown: 8

*Batavia (Indonesia), Air Asia, Myanmar Airways International, Yangoon Airways (Myanmar), Thai Airways, Lao Airlines, Vietnam Airlines, Bangkok Airways

• Countries where rode motorbike: 5
• Countries where received straight razor shave: 4

Third, Southeast Asia by the map.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=113857108228539669434.000475cd617df8978ac81&z=3

Finally, Southeast Asia by scene. The only consistency in this journey has been the inconsistency. Traveling solo, with friends, with family, with partner, with strangers. Each dynamic has led to a unique experience. Each dynamic has crafted this journey. When I look back upon this first Act it’s pretty easy to slice and dice it. It’s easy to mark where the curtain fell on one scene and rose on another. Each scene defined differently by those people in it. Defined differently by the history, culture, geography, language, and cuisine. Each scene brilliant in its own right, but each very different from the next. By the scene…

• Act 1, Scene 1
  • Curtain up (September 11^th):
    • Pointing a camera out the window on final approach flying low enough over the Bali lineup to see the surfers faces.
  • Curtain down (October 2^nd):
    • Carrying for the first time a fully loaded backpack and a one-way bus ticket to central Java, saying goodbye to Devin, turning, and walking out of the Bali villa garden to begin traveling.

• Act 1, Scene 2
  • Curtain up (October 3^rd):
    • Standing alone at dawn outside a bus stop in Yogyakarta.
  • Curtain down (October 15^th):
    • Ringing Taylor Hurt’s doorbell in Singapore.

• Act 1, Scene 3
  • Curtain up (October 16^th):
    • Downing Singapore Slings at the Raffles Hotel and catching up with Devin.
  • Curtain down (October 26^th):
    • Carrying a fully loaded backpack, a bag of crisp US dollars, and a one-way plane ticket to a country without banks or ATMs, saying goodbye to Devin, turning, and walking out of the Kuala Lumpur hotel.

• Act 1, Scene 4
  • Curtain up (October 26^th):
    • Squinting closely to process the blood red betel nut juice dripping from my would-be taxi driver’s mouth outside Yangon airport.
  • Curtain down (November 22^nd):
    • Making eye contact with Jane, Laura, and a crutch-wielding Devin upon their arrival at Phuket airport.

• Act 1, Scene 5
  • Curtain up (November 23^rd):
    • Arriving into the Phi Phi Don via ferry.
  • Curtain down (December 4^th):
    • Checking out of a $4.50/night hostel and upgrading considerably in anticipation of an arrival.

• Act 1, Scene 6
  • Curtain up (December 5^th 1:25am):
    • Watching a foggy silhouette turn into Meghan at Bangkok airport.
  • Curtain down (January 26th 8:40am):
    • Pointing a camera out the window just after takeoff, leaving Southeast Asia behind…

I’m honestly surprised how quickly I’ve reverted back to my old fugal and efficient ways. I’ve had exactly five meals in four days…each from the street. I’m back in the $10/night room and back to planning five steps ahead. But it’s necessary for what lay ahead. See I’m ready to dive into the deep end again. I’m ready to claw at a new country. Ready to get dirty again.

The curtain is about to fall on Scene 6, but that’s not all. The curtain will also fall on Act 1 – the great opening act of Southeast Asia. But like all epics the real punch is found in Act 2. The plot will thicken, adversity will rear its head, and the pace (like my pulse) will quicken. Act 2 will be insanity. Act 2 will be frustrating. Act 2 will be breathtaking. Act 2 will be exhilarating. Act 2 will be brilliant. Act 2 will be coming whether I’m ready for it or not. Act 2 will be…

INDIA